Manifesto Part II: What the World Needs Now is Love, Sweet Misfit Love

I promised you, albeit months ago, we’d get back to the Misfit Manifesto business. And a promise made is a promise kept; so here we are.

If you missed Part I, by the way, you can catch up here:

https://isleofmisfits.com/2018/09/17/podcast-misfit-manifesto-part-i-own-your-awkward/

Give a listen, then come back and read the rest… OR vice versa. We’re all about empowering you with choices.

Misfits are weird. And, not always in a good way. Oh sure, we love to celebrate them around here. But let’s face it. The only Misfits we really love are the ones who are just like us.

So now… where were we? Ah yes, Love Your Fellow Misfit.

Why on earth would we want to do that?

Misfits are weird. And, not always in a good way. Oh sure, we love to celebrate them around here. But let’s face it. The only Misfits we really love are the ones who are just like us. Offbeat…like us. Quirky… like us. In a fun-loving, delightful way. Of course. Those other ones… you know… the real weirdos? Yeah… they don’t so much fit into our definition of “Good Weird” (I’d love to hear your definiton, btw. We all have one, even if we’ve never articulated it to ourselves. Tell you what, I’ll share mine if you share yours)

The truth is, some people are just plain difficult to love.

They don’t fit into our plans.

Or schedules.

Social circles.

Conversations.

Comfort Zones.

And especially not into our pre-packaged, one-size-fits-all conceptions of what people we want to associate with are supposed to be like.

They just don’t fit. Period.

That’s what makes them Misfits. (see how this works?)

It’s not just that they’re different. They’re different in a way that’s uncool. Unappealing. Unpleasant.

Sometimes they even smell. Not even bad, necessarily. Just different. Not our brand. Or speaking of, maybe they wear clothes we wouldn’t be caught dead in. Or have tattoos. Or don’t have tattoos. Or are too uptight. Or too free-spirited. Or believe things we find repugnant. They are altogether unlike us. Who do they think they are, anyway?

And really, we can be all pious and kumbaya about “loving your neighbor” and all, but let’s be honest, when it comes down to it, life is short, and most of us don’t have the time, energy, or inclination to put up with people who we cannot or do not want to relate to on any meaningful level.

Of course, that all hinges on the definition of meaningful, doesn’t it?

What… or who decides what would make it meaningful to relate to someone so… well… so very unlike you? Or me?

What indeed? It would seem the expedient route would be to stay safely in our respective bubbles, where everyone thinks/acts/smells/talks like us, where seldom is heard a discouraging word, and life is beautiful all the time. Ah, the Bubble. I believe I’ve written about that before (shameless plug alert: https://isleofmisfits.com/2017/10/12/i-hate-to-burst-your-bubble/)
It’s a perfect solution. I stay in my Bubble Community. You stay in yours. Everyone’s happy. There’s some meaning for you, right there.

What… or who decides what would make it meaningful to relate to someone so… well… so very unlike you? Or me?

And yet…

The only problem with that whole thang, is those Bubble Communities are getting smaller… and smaaaaller… aaaallllll. the. time. The world is shrinking. We used to be tribal. I get it. Stick with your peeps. But those tribes are splintering more and more, as our differences divide us. We used to have echo chambers, where we could at least preach to the choir. But in the current climate, our offended sensibilities have muted the chorus, turning those echo chambers into individualized cones of reverberating silence. We are finding ourselves in tailor made, highly customized bubbles of personal preference. There’s hardly room in them for more than one person at a time these days, let alone a whole community.

And so here we are. Misfits refusing to interact with other Misfits.

Isolated.

That doesn’t seem to be the way we were meant to live. At least not living meaningful lives. Ah, there’s that word again.

What makes life meaningful, after all? Is it not to connect outside of ourselves? Is it not to love, and be loved? How do we do that? How can we love each other, when we don’t even like each other?

How, indeed?

I think the answer is to forget about our preferences. I know. Crazy. Blasphemous, even. I’ve lost you for sure by now. But wait, before you go, humor me a minute, then you can go back to your happy little bubble.

What if we purposely went out of our way to include someone in our circle who clearly doesn’t belong there? I’m not talking about BFF’ing them. I’m talking about BBD’ing (Being Basically Decent. Yes, I just made that up) them. But if that sounds too unrealistic… maybe start with praying for them? Ok, too holy? How about just talking to them? Or smiling at them? Or buying them a coffee/tea/kombucha/stick of gum? Or giving them the time of day, figuratively or literally? Or at least not trolling them with hateful (but nonetheless scathingly brilliant) Tweets? Or, you know, something like that, there. Because if you wait until you LIKE someone to LOVE on them… oh my friend, the waiting will never end.

But on the other hand, who knows where this whole BBD’ing thing could lead?

Kindness, perhaps? The viral kind. Better than cat videos! Hmmm… Now there’s a crazy thought.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Bmhjf0rKe8&feature=youtu.be

It’s true, your fellow Misfit may never relate to you, nor you to them. But
one thing is for sure; life is short, too short to live in isolation, and they need you to love them. Because you need it, too.

You Misfit, you.